My Monetary

I have spent the last 5 years of my life studying what makes people good looking. I have stalked Brad Pitt for quite some time now checking him out in almost 50 different angles taking paparazzi style photographs of him when he least expects it. I will then compare these photos with other celebrities that are regarded as good looking to see the different qualities and attributes they have. It is my liability to dedicate my life to facial appearance studies and hopefully win a Nobel prize for my discoveries.

I take this role very serious and I have just finished writing a 600 page thesis on this subject and I am now looking for publishers that are willing to print this for me. I have also taken out an insurance claim on my face in case something was to ever happen to it. You never know what can happen when you are just walking down the street minding your own business. A bird might fly straight into my face leaving me with scars or I could get hit in the face with a tennis ball when eating an ice cream on a park bench. It is not worth taking any chances at all.

This week I have not been able to do much work as I have some other business that needs attending. this senile old man keeps sending me papers about some motor trade insurance quote that I am suppose to pay for hitting his car when driving drunk. This man has totally confused me with someone else as I do not drink any alcohol since I had a liver transplant a few years ago when a holiday to Ibiza went horribly wrong. I drank a bottle of vodka everyday and my organs just collapsed on me without warning. I keep destroying these motor trade insurance quote papers he keeps sending but he refuses to stop. I am close to losing my mind and driving to his house and having a talk with him face to face. If he still continues to send me these pointless motor trade insurance quote papers I will set fire to his house when he is sleeping. I am pretty sure he will stop with the motor trade insurance quote papers if I threaten him with an arson attack. If it doesn't it just proves my point that this man is totally senile and needs his house set on fire.